David was broken in Ps. 51 (as keithmor mentioned). And I believe God is able to move in amazing ways when we are broken.

As a former worship leader who is quietly sitting in a congregation here in Wilmington NC, not leading worship right now, I understand everything you are saying. I didn’t move to Tennessee. I moved to Wilmington and have gone through similar things as you. I am currently seeking the Lord apart from the stage (worship leading/working a secular job).

Music is powerful and can give you a great position of influence. Unfortunately, if our flesh is uncrucified in any area of our lives, we find pride filling our hearts as we experience success (even in the spiritual).

Two stories have stuck with me through these years concerning this pride. As a result of these stories, I have lost my addiction for the stage and the praise of man.

The first less known story is of Don Potter, a worship leader, who felt God call him to get off the stage due to his pride. Don said the Lord led him to just face the wall and worship Him without any other audience than Himself. He said at first, 3 minutes felt like three hours. But eventually, 3 hours seemed like three minutes. He was finally addicted to the intimacy experienced in the presence of the Lord.

The other story is Keith Green. For a time, he felt the Lord call him to laydown the piano and singing in front of others. Keith began to just play to the Lord. This was the time where Keith Green’s music to a turn towards worship.

Both Keith and Don tell similar stories where the Lord released them to do music publicly again. But both were after they were broken and alone in his presence. Others have testified to the increase of God’s presence on their music after these times of aloneness. In the Bible, there are many instances of God leading people into a desert like place, where a deep intimacy with God becomes a established in the hearts of his chosen service. This place of brokeness seems to be the foundation which God builds destinies on.

I am personally reestablishing that alone time in his presence. Where my singing and worshipping is not for preparing for a worship set at church. Rather, to just be with Him. To just love Him. I still picture myself in front of people when I am alone with my guitar in private worship. I feel like I will not be ready to lead others in worship, until the only thing I see is Him when I am alone in worship. Till the only thing I desire in worship is Him.

I believe the church is in great need of Davidic lead worshippers. Worshippers who have gotten to know God in the sheep pasture, all alone, intimately aware of God’s nearness…His voice…His presence. If this kind of worshipper steps on a stage, people will encounter the living God, not just good music. They will encounter a stirring in the heart for nearness to God. A thirsty longing for a lowly place at his feet…at his throne…broken in worship…enveloped in worship.

I pray more worship leaders will find this post and read your honest words here and find that secret place in the Lord.
Walt

see you at Overflow!

16-17 Going through the motions doesn’t please you,
a flawless performance is nothing to you.
I learned God-worship
when my pride was shattered.
Heart-shattered lives ready for love
don’t for a moment escape God’s notice.

All the best to you!
Keith Mohr
President
htt://www.indieheaven.com